It’s hard keeping yourself on track when you have “shadows” surrounding you, being alert, trying to be present and controlling emotions.
Your feelings and emotions could be high at the moment and suddenly goes down, with “little” things. You keep looking for information, reading, watching videos cause you wanna be “ok”, enjoy life, every day, you wanna be a positive and productive person. Rising your vibes and mood could not be easy, not every day, not every moment.
Waking Up…
Morning!! Wake up! Is time to get up, you have a lot of things to do today! You know that…
Keeping yourself on track is difficult. You don’t wanna get up, but you know you have to, another day, how’s gonna be? Many thoughts invade your mind and you keep trying to stop them cause they’re not making you feel good.
Then you start overthinking and at the same time trying to stop those thoughts or switch them for better ones. There you are again, as every day, feels like you were born to feel that way all the time.
Go to the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed, make your bed, have breakfast, finish preparing yourself for your day. The nightmare has begun, another battle. In order to raise your mood, you start reading or look for a video on YouTube to get motivated and have a good day.
Going to work…
You listen to that audio or video on Youtube while walking down the street, you wanna be motivated, keep positive, think positive, you gonna have a great day!!
looking around, the sun, the birds, feeling the breeze and the sun touching your skin and you notice that, at that moment; you are being present, and feel good.
Is getting better with every step to your new adventure (the new day), and you promise yourself everything is gonna be ok, you gonna have a good day, you gonna be nice with the people and nothing will make you change your mood, feel bad or ruin your day.
Take the bus to work, always reminding yourself that promise, you gonna do your best to keep it, so you are watching your thoughts every moment.
Once at work, you start your shift, a lot of work, stressful moments, suddenly you lose control over your emotions again, but the good thing is; you notice, cause you are getting better at being present, that means you are making progress! Watching your thoughts, taking control over them and getting back to the moment, what a great achievement!! You are improving yourself!
Getting back home…
Finally home, it was a long day, too much work, now you just gonna take a shower, play some music, lit some candles, eat something yummy, whatever it takes to relax. You need to keep your mind busy cause these shadows could appear again and ruin the progress you have during all day.
You noticed that the more you are at home, the more you get anxious and start overthinking, that’s why you try to keep your mind busy, doing things, different activities during the day or while your are not working.
Someone invited you to go out but, as always, you make up any excuse to stay home, even when you know you just could start overthinking. The idea of being among people terrifies you, so you just stay home.
Got some food already, time to go to bed, you feel really tired so you think you are about to sleep soon, that’s your plan. Try not to use your phone, read some pages of a book, meditation, mindfulness, keep your mind quiet.
That’s how your day end up, you were all day trying and watching your thoughts so you can control them and not let them control you, you know that if you can control your thoughts, you can control your emotions, your feelings, and that’s the “hardest” part, but the good part is, you are making improvements day by day.
Some days are easier than others to “Manage” that, some days you just can’t do anything about it and fall into the “Dark hole” again.
learn about attachment and emotional dependence