Emotional dependence. Part of dealing with this is also struggling with attachment and dependence, you voluntarily or involuntarily take the “Back seat” in your own life.
Fearing separation from people, difficulties making decisions for yourself, a difficulty expressing disagreement with others or that person due to fear of loss of support or approval.
Feeling uncomfortable or helpless when you are alone due to exaggerated fears of being unable to take care of yourself and worrying about the fear of being abandoned.
You are usually starting unhealthy relationships and having excessive and maladaptive feelings of fear that the relationship will end at some point.
It is common that you annul yourself in favor of your partner, family or friends, you tend to be very sensitive to the approval of your actions by other people.
At the bottom of your emotional dependence is low self-esteem and a high degree of insecurity.
There is also a great fear of being emotionally alone, but what maintains the bond is a persistent fear that the relationship will end.
How do you know that you have emotional dependence:
- Low self-esteem and self-contempt.
- Having difficulty in making decisions.
- Being an insecure person.
- Having problems doing things for yourself.
- You have fear of rejection and difficulty giving your opinion.
- Need to please.
- Having difficulty starting projects on your own.
- Lack of confidence.
- Doubting your own abilities.
- Feeling inferior in the relationship.
- Enduring verbal or/and physical abuse.
- Being alone could make you feel very uncomfortable.
- feeling emptiness.
- Not thinking about your own needs.
- Putting the other person first.
- You don’t feel the ability to get out of a toxic relationship.
- Tendency to override your wishes in favor of the other person.
- Need to involve the other person in all your activities or ask for their opinion in any decision.
- Your happiness is focused on your partner.
- Is difficult to defend your opinion opposite to the opinion of the other person.
- Having a constant fear of losing that person.
- Feeling of discomfort and guilt when you go against that person.
- Letting that person manipulate you.
- Isolating yourself.
- The relationship becomes a “Roller Coaster” of emotions.
The vicious circle
You choose exploitative, narcissistic, manipulative and unaffectionate partners who believe they have unusual abilities and who seem very confident.
These unbalanced relationships can become unhealthy over time, as your partner increases authority to the point that he nullifies or mistreats you.
You reach a point of physical or psychological abuse and endure contempt, humiliation but you are willing to obey everything that your partner proposes because of the fear of being abandoned.
You are able to recognize the abuse, but you don’t have the ability to end the relationship because you are emotionally “hooked” on your partner.
Dependence can lead you to an extreme situation of a vicious circle, that is, at a given moment the relationship ends up breaking down, but in a short time you will try to get your ex back.
If you see or think could be a reconciliation, it doesn’t matter what happened in the past, you still thinking about restarting the relationship as if nothing had happened.